Let’s start this with me saying that I am a fangirl. I’ve been a fangirl for a long time now and I somehow managed to overcome all the stigma that comes with it. Yes, you heard it right, fangirling is still something not considered normal for some people. However, it feels good that more and more fangirls/fanboys are going out of their closets and are getting more comfortable being open about it.
Back in my days, I often receive judgmental stares when I say that I love asianovelas, that I am addicted to dramas/movies, and most of my drawings were fan arts. I was thrown questions about my preference and was told to use my talent and energy doing useful things.
Lots of screaming, dramatic reactions, and obsessions are words that often comes up when you say “fangirl”. It is frequently interpreted in a bad way. Oftentimes, people will questionably glare at you when you tell them that you are a fangirl. There is this notion that fangirling is for teenage girls who screams their idol’s name, who imagine themselves in unrealistic situations, and who make unreasonable purchases. Well, to be honest, we do those things, it’s part of being a fan –– but we see it in a positive way.
But what does being a fangirl really mean? In the dictionary, it means a female fan, especially one who is obsessive about comics, movies, music, or science fiction. Meanwhile “fangirling” is a behavior in an obsessive or overexcited way. People who are extremely madly into something and is not afraid to show it.
Again, I am a fangirl. And I see fangirling in a different light. For me, it means appreciating what I love. If I see someone I like, I will tell that person a million times how happy they made me feel. If I like something, I will obsess over it for a month or a year or even forever. If I am happy, I will express my feels. If I am sad, I will cry. Fangirling developed my sense of self-expression.
In this world where sadness is rampant, it is a relief to have an instant mood booster to save us from the gloomy days, to bring back the smiles on our faces, and to make us feel alive.
Allow yourself to feel. People will hate you if they hate you, let them and don’t mind them. Just live your life in your own standards — as long as you are not harming anyone, continue to be yourself. After all, we only get to live once, do not waste it fitting in other people’s standards.
On a different note, amidst the fangirling, I make sure that I do not lose myself. I make sure that I still get a good grasp of reality. Enjoying fantasies about our favorites is perfectly fine. However, I do not let that fantasy get twisted over my reality. Time to time, let’s tap and remind ourselves that real life has to go on, and we deserve an amazing and fulfilling story too.
Growing up as a fangirl, I realize that it’s a lifetime commitment. Once you discovered that you love fangirling, your fangirl instinct will come out — sometimes on unexpected situations.
Being an adult, we are scared of being judged, we do not want other people to use our fangirling side to degrade us, we tend to keep it private — and that is totally fine. We are both proud and shy at the same time.
But to me, when someone asked me why am I fond of fangirling, I just replied that it’s just part of having the type of personality that gets easily inspired. I do not want to ever change that for the fear of seemingly childish. I do not want to hold back any excitement over the things that brings me joy.
We should not feel ashamed of being a fangirl. To keep it private or not, that is our choice.
Keep on sending nice messages, appreciative comments, and support for the people you love. The world is such a dark place to live in and knowing what makes us happy is a great thing. As long as we are not harming anyone, let us enjoy the things we love.